Help Your Child Make a Plan B – Autism, ADHD

All of us create plans in our heads. We have a clear idea of what we want to happen. BUT – What happens when it doesn’t work out?

Well, it can feel a little irritating when an obstacle gets in the way. Our frontal lobes come to the rescue and help us with –

  • Problem-solving

  • Initiation

  • Flexibility

  • Impulse control

  • Judgment

We are able to make alternative plans to get around the obstacle or change direction. We can see that if our plan A doesn’t work, there is a plan B and C.

Do you ever wonder why our children react in a big way when their plans don’t work out? It’s because their brains are wired differently. An obstacle is an inconvenience for us but a major upset for them.

  • What if you couldn’t see around the obstacle?

  • What if you didn’t have the flexibility or problem solving to think of different options at that moment?

NO WONDER they have meltdowns when their plans don’t work out!

“When my plan gets messed up…my anxiety skyrockets.”

So, what can we do to help our children?

1) Model

Show your child that your plan didn’t work and what you will do about it.

“My plan A was to go to the store tonight but it’s too late.  So, I’ll take plan B and go tomorrow.”

2) Practice prevention and help create a plan B and C.


“You said you want to find your favorite candy at the store – that’s your plan A.  If they are out of that candy, what other candy would you want? What’s your plan B candy? What’s your plan C candy?

“You said that you will win the game this time – that’s your plan A.  If you don’t win the game this time, let’s figure out the next plan.  Plan B might be to take a break and play another game. Plan C might be to play the game again to get more skilled.”

“You want to play withJack – that’s your plan A.  If Jack is busy, plan B might be to build with your Minecraft Legos. Plan C might be to take the dog for a walk with me. What would you like to do?

3) Practice, Practice, Practice:)

Hang in there, My Friend!

Holly Blanc Moses
The Mom Who Gets It

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